


a coward and a fool.

by inpiniteu



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Tissue Warning, Wedding Singer Baekho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27723977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inpiniteu/pseuds/inpiniteu
Summary: Dongho has sung to a lot of weddings. Hundreds, by now. It's a good job and a good life.Love is a beautiful feeling, and he's happy to bless people with his voice on their most important day. Today, though, he wants to be anywhere but in this wedding hall.The only man he’s ever loved is a beautiful groom. As expected of Hwang Minhyun.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Kang Dongho | Baekho
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	a coward and a fool.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the fact that both Minhyun and Dongho sang at weddings recently, and this [tweet](https://twitter.com/astropicals/status/1327498235922026496).
> 
> Unbetaed, so forgive me for mistakes.

If someone up there has something against him, Dongho would like to know why and what he did to deserve this.

Waking up late more often than not and living in a studio apartment that a few close friends have affectionately baptized _the pigster_ after witnessing how messy it is certainly aren't good enough reasons for the bomb that has just been dropped on him.

Good people only deserve good things, so can someone explain why is this happening to him? Everyone can attest he's a nice guy and he deserves only the best.

“Dongho-yah.”

Dongho quickly looks up at the sound of his name and his eyes meet Bumzu's. He takes in the strained smile and apologetic eyes of his boss before he diverts his gaze to the picture of them—both a few years younger, with their arms over each other's shoulders and sporting huge grins, and the calm water of _Gwakji Gwamul_ beach in the background—that is proudly displayed on the shelf behind Bumzu's desk. His lips twitch and something akin to teenage nostalgia settles in his heart but he isn't in the mood to smile.

The two of them are close, almost as close as brothers can be, but it's not his friend who is sitting behind his desk right now. It's his boss who is talking to him, and it's only because of their bond and close friendship that Dongho is not getting up and leaving like he so badly wants to do. Still, the dread that has settled in his stomach is too much and he feels physically sick—Is _his_ world still on its axis? His head reels.  
  


Bumzu tries again. “Think twice about it, please.” His voice sounds even softer than usual to Dongho's ears, almost as if he is afraid of his words and the effect they could have on him.

He shouldn't be worried, because Dongho feels completely numb.

A shake of the head and him crossing his arms over his chest in what he hopes is a blatant expression of refusal are the only answers he's able to offer to Bumzu. He hopes they are enough.

He doesn't trust himself to speak right now, and if he did, any word coming out of his mouth would probably turn out to be ones he would regret later on.

Not because he would be rude or go overboard. He would never. Dongho loves words too much for that.

There's a word for every thought, every feeling, and he's learned over the years he spent as a singer and songwriter that expressing yourself is all about picking the right words and stringing them together until they perfectly convey what you feel or think. Dongho has found out he's very good at that, is excellent at putting the right words on every emotion of the gigantic spectrum that is called life.

Usually, at least. Right now, he's nothing but a fumbling, tongue-tied mess who can't get a grip on himself no matter how hard he tries.

“It’s really good money, Dongho-yah. Really good money and we need it.” We, as the business Bumzu has established two years prior out of nothing. The same business that gave him a regular way and got his head out of the deep water he was drowning in.

Dongho’s expression doesn’t change, though. It _can't_ , and Bumzu heaves a sigh, rubbing his face with both hands in what can only be called frustration. The sight he makes is enough for Dongho to feel awful, and apologies are already burning on the tip of his tongue.

Still, he doesn’t utter any of them.

He has never refused a gig before. Never, no matter how far the place or how low the paycheck sometimes was. This one, though, is out of the question.

He _can’t_ do it. There’s absolutely no way he’s going to accept. No way he’s going to sing at that wedding of his free will.

“You know why I can’t do it, hyung,” is what he settles for. Of course, Bumzu knows. After all, he's the one who picked Dongho and the pieces of his heart up, the one who glued everything together as best as he could because that is what friendship is about. Without him and Jonghyun, his best friend since middle school, Dongho doesn’t know where he would be right now. What he would be even, but an empty shell, robbed of its heart.

Discomfort doesn't suit Bumzu's face very well. Smiling fits his features better, but the easy-going attitude he's usually sporting is nowhere to be found right now. Dongho wants it back. “I know, Baek. Trust me, I know.”

He's left watching in silence as Bumzu licks his lips, once, twice, thrice, and he waits for the words that are bound to come out. Nothing is easy in life, and definitely not in business.

There must be a good reason why Bumzu is insisting that much for him to accept that gig. Weirdly enough, Dongho wants to hear it, wants to know what is making Bumzu so ready to sacrifice him like this.

And then, just when he was starting to believe that perhaps, it is only a very tasteless joke, he knows better. “We can't pass it up, though, Baek. If we decline, the word will spread and—”

He doesn't need to hear more and interrupts Bumzu mid-sentence so he won't have to. “I get it, hyung.”

Really, he does. Families made of old money aren't well-known in the whole country only for their good deeds. Or, it's more like whatever they accomplish, they do without caring about what or who is standing in their way. By all means, the end justifies the means, and a few collateral damages on the way to the top are nothing to worry about, right?

For sure, Hwang Minhyun certainly didn't care when he tossed him aside to stay in his family's good graces.

Kang Dongho is no one but the first son of a fisherman and a housewife, and by that title alone, sealed his fate. Whirlwind romances like the one they had— a chaebol son loving a poor boy from Jeju-do—aren't made to last.

And now, here he is. A casualty of love (or whatever they had was), sitting in an office and unable to refuse whatever destiny is throwing at him.

In perspective, there was never a choice. Not if Dongho wants to keep his job, wants Bumzu to still own a business by next month. “Hyung, what if— what if you—”

Bumzu stops him with a quick shake of his head and Dongho's hope deflates at the speed of light. “I'm sorry, Baek. The bride specifically requested you.”

Fuck, fuck, triple _fuck._ This information comes off as the cherry on top of a very bitter cake, and Dongho tries to digest it with a laugh. The after-effect is fairly similar of what happens after eating bad food, leaving him empty and with an upset, painful stomach.

His voice is resigned once he regains his calm. “I will think about it, hyung.”

“Okay.” Bumzu pours water in Dongho's empty glass. “Well, let's now move on to funnier things—”

Dongho sighs in relief and takes a sip.

***

He took the job.

For Bumzu, he said to Jonghyun and Mingi after he explained what was going on to them. Mingi, with all his blunt honestly, called him crazy while Jonghyun simply asked him why he was doing this to himself. Neither of them had looked like they believed him, which isn't surprising because Dongho wears his heart on his sleeve, but they hadn't commented on it and simply offered their support if he ever needed it.

Dongho is grateful for their reaction because he's already quite aware of how stupid he is for doing this. No need for reminders, but in his defense and in a very twisted way, he only accepted this gig with a single idea in mind: get closure once and for all.

In a few hours, once he's done with this job and back in the comfort of his apartment, he's going to forget everything about today. Whatever happens will stay in the past and will never be spoken of again, just like the remaining feelings he's going to leave behind him. He _will_ move on. He has to, anyway.

For now, he's waiting for his turn inside _Yeong Bin Gwan_. Dongho hasn't seen much of the venue, with him immediately being rushed into a small, makeshift waiting room as if they wanted to hide his presence, but the combination of Korean traditions and flair of modernity is breathtaking. Indeed, the Shilla Hotel lives up to its reputation as a luxury resort, is as lavish and expensive as Dongho ever imagined it would be.

Mingi would love it, he thinks, and he's about to take his phone out of the inner pocket of his vest to take a picture of the gardens as the door opens and suddenly, just like in all the romcoms he liked to watch in bed while cuddling to Minhyun's side, everything around him fades in slow motion.

Hwang Minhyun is all he sees, and what a sight he makes, dressed in a three-piece suit that only serves to remind Dongho how out of place he is.

“Hello, Dongho. I—” He suddenly stops, and it's only once the door shuts behind him that he snaps out of whatever trance he was in. "I wanted to thank you for accepting to do this.”

In a way, Dongho would have loved for him to not say anything, to not barge inside this room and treat him like a client. This version of Minhyun hurts more than being ignored would have.

Dongho slightly nods but crosses his arms. His white shirt uncomfortably stretches over his chest, and he makes a memo note to buy a new shirt a size bigger as soon as possible. “I'm not doing it for you, Minhyun.”

Minhyun is quick to agree. “Of course, I didn't mean that. It’s my wife, you know—” Dongho flinches at that word, which is ridiculous because Minhyun isn't his anymore. Was he ever his, though, all things considered? After all, how could you call someone who spent more time running away than staying in your arms “yours”?

Minhyun misunderstands him, correcting himself with a little embarrassed laugh that is grating to the ear. "My future wife. She really loves your voice, you know.”

_You used to love my voice, too,_ Dongho wants to say. Whether it was him singing in the shower or him begging Minhyun to fuck him harder, his voice always used to enchant Minhyun.

Used to, and that's why he doesn't say that, despite the words burning his lips. He refuses to linger on memories that have no place here and should stay buried in the darkest corners of his heart.

There's no point in doing so, especially not today of all days, but it doesn't even matter, the silence between them speaks for itself. He's never been good at hiding his thoughts. Or, perhaps, Minhyun was—still is—too good at reading him.

“It's not—Dongho, _please_. It wasn't to hurt you. You know I would never—would never—”

Dongho holds a hand up and Minhyun falls silent immediately.

No, he doesn't know.

He doesn't know anything when it comes to the man standing in front of him, because the Hwang Minhyun he knew had loved him once upon a time. Yet, the one in front of him is getting married to someone else. 

They're not the same people they once were, the two of them. Bringing up the past makes no sense and if Dongho remembered well (he did), the man he once knew always looked in a single direction—forward. 

Minhyun wasn't like him. He preferred thinking of the future than dwelling over the past, picked warm colors for decoration items but cool ones for clothes, liked to wake up at dawn and seize the day or whatever bullshit he kept trying to justify himself with whenever Dongho was grunting it was too early to be happy—

Did Minhyun wake up early today? He must have, perhaps even earlier than usual, considering it's his big day. Is he happy, then? He must be, Dongho thinks. Still, it's a different answer he hopes to hear as the words slip past his mouth before he can take them back.

Before he can brace himself for the pain that will inevitably follow.

“How are you doing? Are you happy?” 

Minhyun looks surprised, his head tilted to the side like a confused child and Dongho has to refrain himself from smiling. Minhyun always looked cute whenever he was at loss. He still does.

Smiling would mean he's happy, though, and Dongho is far from happy today. How can he be, when he's about to send off the only man he's ever loved with a song?

“I—” Minhyun starts, but he fails to continue. The more the silence stretches between the two of them, the more Dongho sees the truth for what it is.

Minhyun's words confirm it. “I'll be happy.”

“So, you aren't?” And just because he can, because he wants to hurt as much as he's hurting, because Minhyun is letting him. “Are you even loving her? In love with her? Do you even want this wedding?”

Minhyun closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then another. Dongho is left staring at slightly glassy eyes and trembling hands Minhyun takes a second too long to hide. “Does it matter what I want? Or if I love her? If it did, I would still—”

_I would still be with you._

The words hang heavy in the air, creates a bridge that could bring them closer but would be too dangerous to cross. Dongho doesn't want to go there, refuses for today to serve as a placebo for the regrets Minhyun chose to live with.

Even when he's at his most vulnerable state, with pain reflecting in those brown eyes that made Dongho fall in love with him, Minhyun still manages to look beautiful.

He still looks like a prince, the kind of prince Dongho dreamed about when he was younger.

But princes are strong, courageous, and fight for true love. They're the epitome of everything Hwang Minhyun isn't.

“You’re a coward, Hwang Minhyun.”

Dongho’s entire body is shaking, but his voice is steady. “You’re a coward, and I am a fool for loving you.”

***

(Whenever he sings, Dongho always puts all of his heart into delivering the right emotions.

If this time, the song sounds a bit sadder than it should be, no one comments on it.

_Goodbye, Minhyun-ah._

A tear rolls down his cheeks, but he's smiling.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it here and have a lovely day.
> 
> [twitter](HTTP://twitter.com/astropicals) \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/hwangpeach)


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